Food

I have let myself down and this week am actually showing a weight gain.  I have just eaten left over pasta bake in a daze of self-hatred - not much, but any is too much.  I feel sick and annoyed at myself.  I have become complacent and thought I could adapt and cheat and instead have sabotaged my own goals.

So, I need to move on from this and start over - with a fresh slate and outlook.  My goal is too important to cheat and lie to myself.

Not much more to add really but I will finish with some pictures of my LO - eating no less LOL

Offline and Out of Touch

So we lost broadband...for over a week! Not the best when you run an online shop :S We have kind of bodged our way back online at the moment (cables...I ask ya!) but is better than nothing!!  The last week has been strange. I have enjoyed spending time with the kids without the lure of the net and the endless wasted hours on the 'puter. The house is was tidier and I even spent a gruelling day (resulting in bleeding hands that are only just healing) hacking down the jungle of a garden.

However, the time had left me feeling more isolated than ever. Along with an offhand comment which has made me doubt myself even more and makes me even more unsure of reposting in my old haunts. What possible use am I anyway? It's odd as at the end of last week - with a loss in 3 weeks of 24 lbs - I felt better than ever. Yet certain comments  keep running through my mind and making me doubt myself. I think I just feel forgotten. No one remembered my LO's 2nd birthday - again not important but still kind of hurts. No one seems to miss me when I am not online - which adds to my feeling's of not belonging.  Paranoia maybe, gawd knows I disappear enough when things get rough. I just feel useless. Am even doubting the shop as I now look at all the WAHM's selling similar when originally I was a unique concept and wonder why I bother?

Sigh!!

Babywearing Haiku

For a fab competition on Facebook ran by the lovely Big Mama Slings here's my babywearing haiku - sums up how I feel perfectly :)

Fresh newborn cuddles,
toddler chatter in my ear.
Babywearing, love.

Yawn!

The only downside to this diet is my tiredness.  So many people said you felt great once you hit ketosis etc - well, I just feel knackered...constantly!

And my postman had not been for 2 days!  Gah I want my Wollmeise parcel NOW!! Oh I have a couple of balls of Zauberball OTW too :S  I so need to sell stuff as keep stealing business PP LOL!!  Ack well, it keeps me sane...ish!!

(ETA - and umm, I just appear to have bought 2 more skeins of WM - new addiction!??  But the colours are so stunning...I do refuse to pay the inflated prices though LOL)